Standards of Excellent Speaking

Today, we are assembled here to accelerate, I mean, to celebrate, the inflation, sorry, I mean the inauguration, of the first fully automobile, no, automated ham-and-cheese, no ambulance lane on this, our very own four-lame, four-LANE, highway to hell.

I wouldn’t trust this crowd if I were you. I’m not you, which is a shame, for you, because then you would be me and I am wonderful.

But that is beside the point.

If you want to practice standards of excellent speaking, try to avoid sentences like that one above. It was poorly written and the delivery was even worse.